Sorry: Repairing Relationships through Reconciliation (2018-1007)

. 4 min read

Oct 2018, Christ Mountain Top
the Psalm, Psalm 32 (as confession/pardon)
1 Samuel 25
Matthew 5.21-26
Moment, World Communion 2018 video
that old game? I hated it. There was no real strategy. The only point to it was
to land on someone else’s piece, say “sorry” and send them home. The more you
do it, the madder everyone else gets. Great family fun.
      “You’re not sorry. Quit saying you’re
of drop kick to brawl: Was I wrong? Was I sorry?
not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless,
for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
1 Peter 3:9 ESV
you ever been the one to make a bad situation worse?
you ever been the one to make a remark that cut a friend or loved one to the
you ever assumed that someone was trying to hurt you, only to discover that you
completely misunderstood the situation?
you ever walked on eggshells around someone because you are not sure how to
interpret the awkward responses they are giving?
someone ever assumed something of you that was inaccurate, in a way that
created a barrier between you?

the peaceful, perfect Bohanan household this week … animals, advice, and I
      Our membership vows: “Do you commit
yourself to the practice of reconciliation to guard the unity of this
      Why do we ask that? Well, because we’re
people and even here we may hurt one another. And because every single one of
us, even someone as perfect as me, needs to practice reconciliation. We’re not
good at it. We don’t like doing it. But it beats the alternatives. What does
Jesus say? Matthew 5:25  Come to
terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or
your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and
you will be thrown into prison.
      If we think that we’ve got a problem
today, a problem of going to court over everything instead of solving problems
like adults (never mind as disciples of Jesus), well … looks like that was a
problem in Jesus’ time too. Work it out before
you get to court.
      1 Corinthians 6:1-8  When any of you has a grievance against
another, do you dare to take it to court before the unrighteous, instead of
taking it before the saints?  2
Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be
judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases?  3 Do you not know that we are to
judge angels– to say nothing of ordinary matters?  4 If you have ordinary cases,
then, do you appoint as judges those who have no standing in the church?  5 I say this to your shame. Can it
be that there is no one among you wise enough to decide between one believer
and another,  6 but a believer
goes to court against a believer– and before unbelievers at that?  7 In fact, to have lawsuits at all
with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather be wronged? Why
not rather be defrauded?  8
But you yourselves wrong and defraud– and believers at that.
single one of us, even someone as perfect as me, needs to practice
      Mom: making us sit face to face, cross
legged, knees touching.
      Maybe we don’t do it quite like that.
Maybe we find ways to give each other some space and give the situation time,
maybe we breathe a little, count to 100, before we rush in to reconcile. But we
have to learn how to do it. And it
all begins with practice, with being committed enough to the practice to be
willing to stumble around, mess up, apologize poorly, listen a little better,
become what God promises – a new creation.
Peterson, “I Want to Say I’m Sorry”
I want to say I’m sorry but I don’t know how …
said some words to you I wish I never said.
know words can kill cause something’s dead…
tell you everything was beautiful and pure
there was poison in the well from years before
now I’m cleaning up this wreckage on the shore…
now the only way to find some peace
just to give it time and to trust in grace
this is my communion hymn
want to sit beside you at the feast my friend…
the fact: Whether we want to sit beside each other at God’s feast is
immaterial. That’s God’s business. Romans 14:4  Who are you to judge someone else’s servant?
To his own master he stands or falls.
passage before us reminds us that we need to take the initiative in
reconciliation. We can’t simply sit back and wait for it to happen. We need to
step up and apologize, make a genuine confession.
      It also tells us that we need to take the
initiative even if we are not the
person who has been wronged. Matthew 5:23-24  if you remember that your brother or sister
has something against you,  24
leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your
brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.
      I overlooked this second aspect of our
initiative for far too long. Finally, I read it and saw what it really said. It
doesn’t say, take the initiative to apologize when you know you have hurt
someone. It says, take the initiative to apologize when you think someone is
mad at you. Whether or not you have done something is irrelevant, what matters
is that someone may have something against you.
      This call to reconciliation has changed my
life. [example dialogue]
of drop kick to brawl – conclusion